Rule #8: Find a kick-ass partner

Rule# 8: Get a kick-ass partner

This is a tricky one. The “kick-ass” to “partner” ratio has to be just right. If you’re a little more of the former, you’ve got more of a side-kick than a partner. If you’re more of the latter…well, we can just call you “Robin”. Sure, you’ll have adventures and you’ll help save the day. But you’ll forever be the little dog jumping around asking Spike what he wants to do today.

Would Tallahassee still have smashed zach’s head with a banjo if Columbus wasn’t there to watch? Probably. Yes, he would have. Did he enjoy it even more because he knew it intrigued and revolted his partner? Absolutely. That’s why they are so perfect for each other. It’s pretty clear that Tallahassee could have gone for the rest of his life driving around alone smashing every z’s head that he ran into. But pairing up with Columbus gave him a reason to live again. It gave him a reason to be the best Tallahassee he could be. Columbus helped him blossom.

Simultaneously, Columbus was doing a little “blossoming” himself. He was realizing that while his rules have kept him alive, there are times when they need to evolve. Columbus was clearly in his glory applying his “Rules of Zombieland” to every crazy thing that T did. It gave Columbus purpose. He even started to incorporate T’s wild, childlike wisdom into creating new rules through the course of the movie.  C’s “kick-ass” was materialized in the form of being a super-cautious hypochondriac rule-writing prude. And he clearly became the Ultra-Ben 10 version of that by pairing up with T.

One of my favorite scenes is when C and T are about to climb down the hill where the Hostess truck drove off the highway. Columbus begins to limber up, only to be ridiculed by Tallahassee. This doesn’t stop him…he keeps on stretching his legs while holding a shot-gun like a free weight. It’s as if C purposely did this so blatantly to force Tallahassee to ask him about it. It opened the door for Columbus to proclaim yet another rule, and assert his “kick-ass”. These two are true to themselves, no matter what. And the other accepts him for it. C doesn’t understand why T must paint a “3” on the side of every vehicle he drives, but he goes along with it. They accept each other for who they are, and that forces them to each be as “kick-ass” as they can be. The real value of their kick-ass is assigned by their partner.

That’s the key. The important part. The glowing neonsign.  Internally, you are only as kick-ass as your partner believes you are. You need to have a certain level of KA to start. And the KA chemistry has to be there. Two hot-headed zombie killing machines would have fun together, but they would probably get sick of each other after a while never really having a partner that appreciates the hedge-clippers. Two tight-ass hall monitors would last a long time in Z-land together watching each other’s backs, but they too would get bored after a while. The only thing that really matters is how kick-ass your partner thinks you are, and that they accept you for who you are.

I have found my kick-ass partner. And when I say “partner”, I mean it. She knows me. She understands me. She doesn’t want me to be anything except true to myself, and the best part: she loves me for it. We each have our flaws. So what? That feeling makes me want to be the best JOHN I can be. Yes, I will still wear chucks to work. I will still dye my hair blood red. When I find an ivory tuxedo at the local thrift shop, I am not afraid to send her pics from the dressing room. As a matter of fact, after I send her those pics she decided that we were going to have an impromptu prom. And it was great. 

She compliments me. She shows me things I have never heard of that are amazing and fun. And she is open to any adventure that I suggest. She makes me feel like I am not a misfit in this world, and apparently I make her feel the same way. When I am with her, I am happy. And happy to be me. In her, I see who I am, who I want to be, and who I am supposed to be. And they are all the same person.

That’s what a partner is. And she is as kick-ass as they come. I can't imagine a better mix of "kick-ass" and "partner". That’s why I love her.
When the zombie apocalypse actually comes, there is no one in the world I would rather by my side.  Even if the zombies never come, I still want her by my side. Always.