Columbus' Rule #1

No, I am not talking about the guy who may or may not have discovered America in 1492. I am referring to Zombieland, and the list of survival rules that the main character teaches us throughout the movie. I am not too learned to think that a zomflick (granted... a really fun, well written zomflick with good effects) has nothing to teach me about life. It does. Starting with this blog post, I will share one of Columbus' rules and how it applies to my life. There are 33.

Rule #1: Cardio

I've recently started training for a few races I will be running in May. Both of them are 5K, but not your typical 5K races. They are obstacle races. You may have heard of The Warrior Dash? Well, I plan to have my Viking helmet at the end of May. Before that though, I actually will be running from Z's at Run For Your Lives.

I've been running pretty regularly 3 times a week now. I know 5K isn't a lot, but it's a place to start. I've set this goal for myself, and I will achieve it. And plus, I just feel so darn good. In my more sedentary times, I would see people out for a run in the rain, sleet, snow...at 4am or 11pm...with their dogs, kids, or in groups...and I would wonder "WTF?" Why would someone run as a regular past time?

I get it now. My juices start flowing. My body gets moving and the blood is flowing. Sometimes, it becomes a short vacation from deep thought. I don't think about life's worries. No thinking, just running. Other times, it sets my brain in motion and I can calculate and decipher all of the day's events. I can look at things refreshed and renewed.

But when Columbus refers to cardio, he's giving advice on how to survive. Zach is fast, and hungry. You've got to be able to just keep running around the parking lot until you have a big enough lead to jump in the car, or else your some thing's dinner. What Columbus is really suggesting is endurance. Endurance is a principal that will become increasingly important to me going forward.

I am constantly surrounded by idiots. Bitter people with really bad attitudes. There is a reason that people say "the good die young". It's because bad people live a long time, and they will make it their life long mission to ruin every moment of your good life. The key is building that endurance up so that the last few of us good people can outlast the cranky bastards. Or keep the faith long enough for them to give up.

That's a satisfaction I enjoy.

Give it your best shot, Evil. Send me a million nastygram text messages. Give the Feds my new address. Make me spend hours with you and then buy someplace else. Don't clean up after your dog. Don't hold the door for me. Let your child bump into me a million times while in line at the bank. Lie. Steal. Cheat. I will not lose control.

You won't ruin my day. Tomorrow is only a few hours away. And some day you will be gone. I will smugly smile in your face while you think you have more of an impact in my life than you really do. I am surrounded by good, loving, beautiful people. I will outlast you.

Oh, by the way...I am going to start saving the dog poop you leave on my lawn and I will be dropping it into your grave some day.

Thanks.

John